Catching a Cold and some Mockingbirds

[rufusluciusivan]

Hello everyone! After my long venture in Marvel’s universe, I suppose it was only a matter of time before I’d pay a visit to DC.

Don’t take it TOO seriously though. It’s a quick one-shot, an idea I got while coming across a non-USB fanart of Batgirl ambushing a henchwoman (links at the end as always).

Then I was inspired to link it with an other draft I had with a scene featuring Batgirl and Penguin’s henchwomen. Not dwelling (long) on my life story, but I discovered the USB community through its overlap with the DID community. I found the link of the old Board on LOZ’s now defunct website. And I recall one key scene that made me discover I was into DID when I was young was the one in the Batman TAS Episode The Judge, when the Judge binds and gags Penguin’s gorgeous-looking henchwomen Raven and Lark. So I wanted to pay homage to these two damsels somehow. In a convoluted way, it’s partly thanks to them I’m here now!

I don’t rule out the possibility to write a couple more one-shots, but at the moment of this writing I don’t intend to begin a full saga. DC just doesn’t have the same appeal as Marvel to me when it comes to USB stories.

As always with these comics-inspired stories, you'll find links to show pictures of the characters at the end.

Enjoy!




**************

People don’t seem to realize how tough my life can be sometimes.

They don’t know what it’s like to be a vigilante who attends to college. Nightly crime-fighting isn’t exactly helpful to pass the next exams.

More importantly, they don’t know how hard it is to sneak in places when one has red hair. I think I deserve more credit.

Just like I deserve more credit for going with the moniker of Bat-Girl. “Girl”... Truly, I got the short end of the stick.

Welcome in the life of Barbara Gordon, I guess.

Now, I’m not gonna pretend this is a boring life. Quite the contrary. It is a busy one though, especially during the night. Like this one for instance.

From my vantage point on a building, I use binoculars to observe the dock from afar.

The warehouse complex is grey, old, and ugly – a testimony of both Gotham’s former industrial prosperity and its current economic crisis. It also offers quite the contrast with the pristine white luxury yacht docked nearby.

For now, I’m interested in the dark warehouse.

Yesterday, a case of diamonds was stolen. The kind of heist you don’t see every day. No trigger-happy thugs or sloppy gunfights. Quite the contrary. The work of an artist of the robbery. The thief impersonated a clerk of the jewelry – something which was discovered when the true employee was found trussed up in the trunk of her own car. The thief had stolen her pass, her ID, and even her outfit.

We suspected Catwoman at first, but she’s busy elsewhere. Wrong trail, at least this time.

A minor setback. If you can’t find out about the thief, then you just need to find out about the patron. The stolen diamonds aren’t exactly the kind of items you can just sell on the Internet – they’re all registered unique pieces. Which means whoever stole them needs to work with a fence.

I may have taken advantage of my status as the daughter of the commissioner to take a look at the files. Then I may have taken advantage of my status as Batgirl to ask a few questions to my regular informants.

If my intel is right, then that yacht is the place where I need to be tonight. And if that yacht is the place where I need to be, then I may find clues in the warehouse. Even if not, it’s best to begin with the place full of dark spots, and leave the white floodlit boat for last.

I discreetly approach the big warehouse, using the cover of the night and some decrepit walls. The building is nothing to write about home at first glance. It smells as bad as it looks.

Using my grappling hook, I climb one wall, open a window from the outside, and sneak inside the building. Lots of sealed metal containers being stored.

I also see a figure below in the distance. It appears I’m not alone.

My trusty informants once again didn’t fail me. You’d be surprised how many things the ‘ladies of the evening’ see and hear.

To get a better look, I swing under the roof from steel beam to steel beam.

My curiosity is soon rewarded.

From my vantage point on an inner steel beam, I get a proper look at the figure walking in-between the locked containers.

The woman is a familiar face.

She’s also trouble.

She’s part of a group of former henchwomen of Mr Freeze called the Ice Maidens.

The thug is wearing a hooded gray blue parka with white fur, and a matching pair of winter boots. The hood is covering her head save for her face, and her eyes are obscured by black ski goggles, but I can spot the henchwoman is slim and white-skinned, with black hair styled into a square-shaped neck-long haircut. The henchgirl is armed with a small odd-shaped handgun.

Careful, Babs.

The weapon fires freeze-rays – just as dangerous as bullets. I know firsthand how lethal they can be.

If you’re a thug in Gotham, having a shtick and knowledge on high-tech gadgets is a valuable asset to get a job. Victor Fries himself has gone missing, but he’s left behind some of his weapons. And people who know how to use them. Freeze’s former henchwomen have recently found themselves a new employer. One who has fondness for ice and pretty bodyguards.

Penguin.

Looks like I discovered who the fence is.

My informants didn’t know everything, only that “something big” was supposed to take place in this pier tonight. However, putting the pieces together is quite easy. Penguin hired a thief to steal the diamond, and she’s supposed to deliver the goods tonight at his yacht. Nobody would bat an eye at the sight of a rich tycoon having a little party on his personal boat.

Now, it’s time to take action. If I want to intercept the shipment in peace, I can’t have goonettes scouring the area.

First step, disarm the girl.

The Ice Maiden’s senses are on alert, but not exceedingly so. To her, this patrol is a routine mission. A boring one she performs in hope of getting a promotion. However, she’s not expecting real trouble to show up.

It’s not too hard to evade her line of sight.

I discreetly move to an other vantage point to get a better shot, aim at the gun she’s holding, then throw my bat-arang. My target is small, but I’ve already hit smaller ones.

The bat-arang hits the gun she’s holding, and sends the weapon flying.

The Ice Maiden grunts.

“Wha-?!”

Of course her distraction proves to be a mistake.

I jump from my vantage point, using my cape to break down my fall, and land on the startled henchwoman. She gasps. In her eyes, I see fear and surprise.

I use my full bodyweight to pin the criminal onto the ground, face up. At the same time, I grab a small spray strapped on my utility belt.

Before the Ice Maiden recovers, I clamp my free gloved hand onto her mouth.

“You call for help, and this gets a lot rougher.” I warn.

Bruce is better at those intimidation tactics. The whole purpose of the ‘Black Knight’ persona is to strike fear into criminals’ hearts. But I’m no slouch either – and I’m a good learner. Bat-GIRL doesn’t have the same aura as Bat-MAN, but for a bottom-of-the-barrel henchgirl, it’s more than enough.

The Ice Maiden nods with a small squeaky moan. Fear hasn’t left her eyes. I'm using my thighs to block her arms, and pin her body on the floor.

“I’ll be asking a few questions. Nod or shake your head. Got it?”

The black-haired henchgirl nods.

“Good. Is Penguin here?”

Her eyes briefly widen. She wasn’t expecting me to know about her new boss. Of course, I dropped the name for a reason. I want to destabilize her, to catch her off guard. To show her I already know some things, so she better not try and lie.

The Ice Maiden finally nods.

“Where? In the warehouse?”

This time, she shakes her head.

“On the yacht?”

An other nod.

I ponder briefly. “I suppose there’s a connection to the diamond theft. Is the delivery tonight?”

Once again, she nods. Quite the squealer, that one…

“In how much time? Two hours?” She shakes her head. “More?” An other negation. “One hour?” This time, she nods.

It’s all I needed to know.

“Thank you. And good night by the way.” I spray the Ice Maiden’s face with knock-out gas before she can process my words. The woman squirms and cries reflexively, but I’m still pinning her body onto the ground, and I use my gloved hand to muffle her moans.

The gas is fast-acting – a lot faster than any conventional knock-out gas. The Ice Maiden’s struggles are short-lived. Soon, she lets out one final moan in my glove, and goes still.

I let go of the limp body.

I have only one hour left. There won’t be much room to hide or blind spots inside the yacht… Only exposed decks and white corridors... No more shadows to hide into.

I look at the unconscious Ice Maiden’s outfit.

When there aren’t any shadows, then the solution is to hide in plain sight. That’s a lesson I’ve learned from Selina – though technically, isn’t it what Bruce is doing with his playboy persona?

How much time would it take me to disguise myself as her and leave her out of the way? Ten minutes top, I wager.

Sold!

The Ice Maiden outfit is surprisingly easy to pull off. The parka can be unzipped, and both the trousers and boots aren’t form-fitting. I leave the white socks on her feet. She’s spent hours wearing warm boots, I don’t want to take the risk...

Under her parka, the henchwoman is wearing a thin black tank top and a sapphire blue t-shirt bra. No shirt or even t-shirt. Then again, it *is* Summer, and she *is* wearing a parka. Under the trousers, the minion is wearing sky blue seamless hip-hugging panties.

The gas should make her sleep for three hours, but I’m unwilling to take any chance. On my utility belt, there is a pair of retractable handcuffs. I drag the Ice Maiden across the warehouse, and drop her in a blind spot behind some containers. I cuff the woman’s wrists behind nearby pipes on the wall. I then grab a black device which vaguely looks like a black rubber ball. I shove it into the unconscious henchgirl’s mouth, and activate it. The ball deploys metal straps which wrap themselves around the woman’s cheeks and behind her neck, then fasten themselves. The ball itself inflates until it fills the woman’s mouth, big enough to silence her screams, but not too big – to not choke her and not break her jaw.

… Yes, we have ‘bat-ballgags’. When your golden rule is that you don’t kill the baddies, you need a way to properly and non-lethally silence them.

Checking the time, I see I took less than five minutes. Perfect.

I take the Maiden’s discarded henchwoman outfit. Time to put on my disguise…

“FREEZE!”

Shoot! I’ve been careless! I forgot henchgirls often move in pack!

An other Ice Maiden is behind me. This one has short dark blond hair and a white skin.

I get up slowly and turn around, hands raised. “I can’t believe you made that pun.”

The crook smiles. “Always wanted to.” she retorts.

Her smile also indicates she has no intention of capturing me alive. In fact, the only reason she called me was to make sure I’d step aside from her partner – so that her friend wouldn’t risk being hit by the freeze ray with me.

Shoot. That’s two mistakes tonight. Good thing Bruce or Dick aren’t here with me right now.

I get ready to jump and dodge.

The girl presses the trigger.

Or more accurately, she tries to press the trigger.

Because the blond Ice Maiden also made a mistake tonight. She failed to see the black-clad figure looming behind her.

A mistake she pays dearly when a pair of arms are wrapped around her neck and throat, trapping her into a vise-like chokehold.

“Gark?!”

The Ice maiden reflexively drops her gun, and grab the arms in a vain attempt to loosen the sleeper-hold. Big mistake. She desperately flails her legs, stomping on the floor with her boots, to no avail.

“Gh… Gh… Gah… Guh… Uh… uuuuhhh…”

Her body eventually stops squirming, and she falls limply into the arms of her attacker.

The latter is a lithe fit young woman dressed in a black bat-suit which also conceals her entire face. She drops the unconscious henchgirl face down onto the floor, and pulls off her mask, revealing a face with a white skin, short chin-long black hair, and brown eyes.

Cassandra Cain. Black Bat.

I flash her a smile that’s neither fish nor fowl.

Yes, we’re on the same team. Yes, we have each other’s backs. Yes, she’s a bit like a surrogate younger sister to me. Kinda. In a way.

But if you ever had a sister, then you know it’s an unwritten law you should always try to one-up her.

“Did you follow me?” I ask.

She nods. I don’t quite like her little smile of satisfaction.

So I retort: “You sure it’s safe to take off your mask? Kinda unprofessional.”

She shrugs. It's pretty clear she thoroughly checked the surroundings before ambushing the blonde Ice Maiden. She wouldn't take off her mask if she wasn't 100% sure the area was secured.

"I trust you were stalking her from the beginning. Did she call for back-up?"

Cassandra shakes her head.

Good news. At least my blunder didn't ruin the mission.

"What about the third Maiden?"

Cassandra looks me in the eyes, and simply raises one eyebrow.

I easily deduce what she means. “Of course. You already took care of the other one.” I say out loud.

She nods. She’s not smiling anymore.

Gosh! She always looks so intense, with her pale skin and grim scowl. I wouldn’t want to be in the shoes of the Ice Maiden(s?) she ambushed before rescuing me. Hopefully she didn’t break something. Broken spine is technically non-lethal. I know Huntress used that loophole once… the day she broke up with our group.

Cassandra must see something on my face, because she takes a small breath to brace herself and speaks to reassure me:

“Hogtied. Dumpster. Outside.”

Her voice is coarse, her phrasing hesitant. As if she’s not used to talk.

Which is exactly the case.

She had been raised to become the perfect assassin by her father. And he considered that living weapons don’t need to talk. She only began learning to speak after Bruce took her in.

I don’t know the details of her childhood. Only Bruce is privy to them. And those details explain why sometimes nightmares prevent her from sleeping at night.

Of course, she's doing a lot better now. She's also a lot happier. Still, I’m a bit concerned that one of the words of her everyday vocabulary is ‘hogtied’.

Cassandra rolls the blond Ice Maiden’s body on the stomach with her foot. When the henchgirl stirs and moans faintly, she roughly jabs a syringe into her neck and injects her with a knock-out drug. The blonde’s body goes still again.

I’m not quite comfortable with how brutal she’s being. But I also know that responding to a threat with non-lethal means requires Cassandra efforts to overcome her conditioning.

I don’t try to lecture her. She doesn’t need moral lessons. She’s already doing her maximum.

I also don’t comment on it. She doesn’t need pity.

She needs normalcy. And normalcy can be the ‘Glorious War of Girl Rivalry’.

Cassandra looks over my shoulder, and sees the discarded set of Ice Maiden outfit next to the trussed up half-naked henchwoman. She draws an other short breath.

“Good call. Care if I join in?”

Uh. That’s new. She hardly ever does small-talk. Scratch that, she hardly ever pronounces a full sentence – no matter how short. Usually, she nods, points, and uses sign language, and I get the picture. She must really be in the mood for a ‘girls night-out’ if she makes such effort.

I confess my heart melts a little to see her open up, but as the older girl I have a reputation to maintain.

“Well, now that you’re here…” I pretend to shrug, and act like it bothers me but I’ll be doing her a favor. “Why not? The more the merrier.”

She nods. Her lips barely move, but I know her well enough to recognize the subtle hints. She’s happy.

Cassandra then rolls the blond Ice Maiden on her back, and unzips the woman’s parka.

Since she said the coast was clear, I take off my bat-suit without any worry. I don’t mind stripping to my undergarments in front of her – we’re in-between girls. I take off everything – I only keep the dark grey tank top and sports boyshorts and socks I wear underneath. I fold the costume, and conceal it in-between two containers.

Then, I wrap my utility belt around my waist, and zip the parka over it to hide my gadgets. The trousers and boots are a decent fit – only marginally too big. The parka’s hood and ski goggles will conceal my identity fine.

By the time I’ve finished dressing myself up, Cassandra has stripped the blond Ice Maiden down to her mango orange socks, black tanga panties with a pattern of colorful blue, red, and yellow tropical flowers, a white bra with a pattern of green palm tree leaves, and a white thin tank top with the Brazilian flag.

Tropical-themed undies. I resist the urge to comment on the irony.

“Lend me some gadgets?” I ask Cassandra instead.

She throws me a pair of handcuffs and a ‘bat-gag’. I catch them. Then I drag the blond Ice Maiden by the armpits.

I handcuff the henchwoman to some pipes next to her black-haired partner, and fasten the gag to silence her. Once the device has strapped itself into her mouth and behind her neck, I leave her to her humiliating predicament.

Cassandra strips down to her white undergarments, wraps her utility belt around her waist, and conceals her gadgets and identity under the hooded parka, trousers, boots, and ski goggles.

Finally, we both pick up the discarded ice guns.

We exchange a glance under our reflective black goggles.

Then I smile. The kind of smile one has when they’ve found the perfect little revenge.

Cassandra lowers her ski goggles, and glares at me over them. It’s a warning.

I ignore her. “Time to send Penguin…” I adjust my shades. “… to the cooler.”

She punches me on the shoulder, but I don’t care. It was worth it.

Forty-five minutes left. Let’s pay a visit to the yacht.

**************

A bunch of goons dressed as dockers guard the gangway leading to the yacht.

Cassandra and I prefer to use our gadgets to discreetly reach the boat from the roof of the warehouse.

Fighting these guys is not an option. We’d win, but the commotion would blow our cover. We could bluff our way in, but then they’d probably notify Penguin or someone else. It’s easier to sneak into the yacht, and then pretend we were let in if we come across someone.

From the top of the warehouse, Cassandra fires one bat-grapple to the wall of the lower deck, and secures the cable to the warehouse’s roof. I go first. It’s like gliding on a zipline. Thanks to the noises made by the sea’s water hitting the boat and dock, nobody hears the faint sounds I make. I land softly on the floor.

On the roof, Cassandra unties the cable, allowing me to recover it. Then I fire my own bat-grapple to the roof of the warehouse, and secure the cable to the railing of the yacht. Cassandra glides to reach the deck.

Then once she’s reached her destination, I untie the cable and use my gadget to unclasp the hook and retract the cable.

A bit convoluted, but that way we left no proof behind.

Then, we discreetly go to the part of the upper-deck which faces the sea – putting the frame of the yacht in-between us and the guards of the gangway.

The boat is mostly quiet – though we hear muffled sounds from the inside. Some windows are lit. Penguin and his guests are there.

However, we’re not completely alone outside.

I indeed notice figures walking the upper-deck.

Women. Women I know pretty well.

“We have company.” I warn Cassandra.

Penguin is a cautious man. He has brought his own personal ‘Oswald’s Angels’ to watch the yacht.

Jay, Lark and Raven are waitresses at the Iceberg Lounge, Penguin’s posh nightclub. They also double as his personal bodyguards, and help him with his business deals in the underworld.

Jay is a blue-eyed blonde, with short hair save for a long lock side-swept to the right. Lark has shoulder-long straight red hair, a white skin, and green eyes. Raven has brown eyes, a slightly tanned skin, and closely cropped black hair.

The three henchwomen are dressed in skimpy “Vegas” cocktail waitress outfits: a black bowler hat, a white cloth choker with a black bow-tie, a black bustier, white wrist bracelets, grey stockings, and black high heels. Quite the opposite of the Ice Maidens and their parkas. Thankfully for them, it’s Summer…

(Then again, they also wear the outfits inside the Iceberg Lounge, so the cold probably doesn’t bother them.)

Their clothes emphasize their slim attractive curvy figures. However, a martial artist would notice their well-toned legs are the result of close combat training, while a marksman would notice each wears a holster with a gun on her waist.

The three girls’ sex-appeal is a weapon, a tool to make their enemies drop their guard.

From afar, judging by their body language, they look tense and wary. And with good reason. Things aren’t going well for them lately. Their recent humiliation at the hands of Roxy Rocket is still the talk of the underworld.

Sucks to be them then, because I don’t intend to fold for the sake of their reputation.

I exchange a few hand signs with Cassandra.

It’s best to split up for now, and search for the best way to enter the yacht unnoticed, I say.

She nods.

I’ll take the lower deck, she’ll take the upper one. We avoid confrontation with Penguin’s hench-babes. At least for now...

**************

My first pick is the storage room of the lower deck. I don’t expect to find a door leading to the living quarters of the yacht here, of course. But storage rooms sometimes have air vents. And where there are air vents, there are air ducts...

I pick the lock of the door open.

The room contains boat safety equipment. I rummage through it.

There is indeed an air vent. Too small for me to crawl inside, unfortunately. (Technically, too small for anyone to crawl inside, so I don’t feel bad about my weight.) I’m tempted to take the grid off. Maybe I can plant a bug and listen on some conversations, depending of where the duct leads?

I don’t have the time to try my idea however.

“Hey, Ice Maker! Shouldn’t you be in the warehouse?”

It’s Lark, the red-haired bodyguard.

“I thought I saw something. I wanted to check.” I lie on the spot, trying to mimic the voice of the blond Ice Maiden who was mugged by Cassandra – as she’s the only one whose voice I’ve heard. I discreetly make sure my hood conceals all of my hair.

“And the guards let you in? Without notifying us?”

“Don’t blame me if they’re being lazy!” I retort.

Lark scoffs – she’s hostile, but it’s clearly because she doesn’t like the Ice Maidens. My disguise is working. Thanks, ski goggles and hooded parka!

“We’re the ones watching the yacht for Mr Cobblepott.” the red-haired bodyguard retorts. She inches closer, her demeanor is threatening. “He has guests of high standards. The kind who wants to see their needs tended by girls of high standards.”

“Chill out, girl! I was careful to not be seen! I’ll see myself out then.”

I walk to leave the room, but Lark blocks my path. She’s keeping her hand very close to the cross of the handgun strapped onto her waist in a holster.

“You think you’re a hot shot, with your toy gun, uh? But don’t try flying too close to the Sun, or you’ll burn your wings.” she growls with a low voice.

Aviary metaphors. She’s not Penguin’s henchwoman for nothing. I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

In doubt, I choose to play dumb, and let her talk some more. It proves to be a good strategy. She clearly needs to vent off, and doesn’t require any probing.

“You were assigned to the warehouse for a reason. Mind your place. I’m onto you. I see through your little game right now. Trying to get brownie points. But you still have a long way to go before we hire you for the Lounge. It’s best to take it slow. One step at a time, capisce?”

Ah! I think I get it now. Penguin hired a bunch of upstarts, and now his ‘old guard’ is getting jealous.

All these ladies… fighting for Oswald’s favor… I’m sure he finds the situation mighty amusing.

Lark misinterprets my short moment of silence as an act of defiance. “Are we clear?” she insists.

I pretend to be intimidated. “Crystal.”

“Good.” She steps aside to let me leave.

I bet she’ll message Penguin the second I leave her sight. He may be able to deduce something is off. I decide I need Lark out of the picture.

I close the door of the storage room.

Lark’s eyes widen. Her hand moves to grab her gun in its holster.

I jump her before she can draw it.

As expected, the metal frame muffles the sounds of the ensuing scuffle. A few hooks and jabs, a couple of grunts, and Lark takes a nap.

When I’m done, the henchwoman is lying spread eagle on her back, eyes closed, mouth slightly agape, and with a few strands of hair out of place. Her bowler hat is lying a few feet away.

“So the Ice Maidens aren’t allowed on the boat...”

I pick up the hat, and eye the unconscious crook’s body proportions.

“A redhead with shoulder-long hair? Now, that’s just asking for it.”

I search my utility belt for a small bottle of chloroform and a wad of cloth. I make the unconscious woman breath through the soaked piece of cloth for a few seconds, until I see her chest ease and her breathing slow down – indicating a deep slumber.

Then I work on taking her outfit.

I don’t have much clothes to remove in the first place, but the bustier is a bit tricky to peel. The bracelets, tights, bow tie, and high-heels are a lot easier to pull off.

I confess I’m pleasantly surprised to find out Lark is far-sighted enough to wear undergarments beneath her skimpy outfit. Her panties are dark purple, seamless and plain. The black bandeau bra is a bit skimpy, but at least it spares me the awkward situation of dealing with a topless unconscious girl.

I didn’t think of taking a second handcuff with me tonight – good thing Cassandra, Dick, or Bruce aren’t in the room with me right now. I grab wires in an other pouch of my equipment belt, and use them to bind Lark’s wrists and ankles.

I do have a second – and final – bat-ballgag to silence her though.

I leave the defeated hench-babe seated in a corner of the room, resting against the cold metal wall of the ship, and move a pile of lifebuoys to conceal her frame.

“Sorry about the discomfort, girl.” I deadpan.

I can’t wear my utility belt with her outfit – the bustier doesn’t exactly conceal much. I stuff a couple of gadgets in my cleavage – including a bunch of smoke bombs and sleep gas bombs – and a couple more in the gun holster I wear on my waist. Then I hide my equipment belt in one lifebuoy. It’s designed to shock into unconsciousness anyone who touches it without having their DNA registered in its database, so I don’t fear someone being able to pick it up and use it against me.

I attempt to bug the air vent. However it turns out I can’t listen to any conversation through the duct, not even with my powerful ‘bat-bug’.

Eh. It was worth a shot.

It’s best to leave the storage room, and see if Cassandra is having better luck. Now that I’m dressed like Lark, entering through the main door may not be as crazy as one might think...

**************

When I exit the storage room, I almost bump into Cassandra.

Very aware that I look like Lark right now, I raise my hands when I see her grim face. “You know it’s me, right?”

She doesn’t jump me to knock me out, so she does.

Still, I notice she looks slightly on edge. Did she see Lark walk after me? Was she listening through the door?

I tease her with a smile. “Aw~. You were worried for me.”

Her face barely flinches. She does frown slightly though – unless it’s a trick of the light.

“Ice Maidens aren’t welcome on the yacht. Long story short, mook infighting.” I explain. “It’s best we don’t let Raven or Jay see you.”

She eyes my Vegas waitress costume, and raises an eyebrow. Her intent is unambiguous.

“Or we find Raven, and convince her to lend you her outfit.”

**************

The right side of the yacht, the one with the lifeboats, is poorly lit.

Raven is currently patrolling the area.

One could think the “sea side” of the boat wouldn’t be a high priority for patrols, compared to the side which can be accessed from the dock. However, we’re in Gotham. In-between the people who can breath underwater and the ones who have furtive submarines, the side of the yacht overlooking the sea is actually just as exposed.

We don’t have much time left before the diamonds delivery – twenty minutes top. We decide to be bold. Cassandra takes position on the upper-deck’s railing, ready to jump any unsuspecting crook walking below her.

Confident in my disguise, I walk into Raven’s line of sight – though I’m careful to keep my distance and to stay in the shadows.

The black-haired bodyguard immediately grabs her gun when she senses a presence, but relaxes when she sees the Vegas waitress outfit and red hair.

“Hey, Lark! I saw you go after that Ice jerk earlier. I hope you showed that upstart her place!”

I nod from afar, keeping myself half-obscured by the night.

Raven grins, and walks towards me. “Good. I don’t know what Mr Cobblepot sees in these bimbos. My guess is he’s interested in their guns. Can’t blame him though. They’re the only cool thing about these girls.” She chuckles at her own pun.

Oh, she’s SO going down now...

Unknowingly, Raven arrives within Cassandra’s reach.

My partner doesn’t give her the time to regret her mistake. In one fell swoop, she jumps from the upper-deck, rushes Raven, and wraps a vise-like sleeper-hold around the crook’s neck and throat.

Raven gasps, moans and squirms. Her heels scrape on the floor. Cassandra tightens her grip, unmoved by the woman’s muffled cries for mercy.

The black-haired henchwoman struggles briefly, but eventually her eyes rolls back into her skull, her head lolls to the side, and her body slumps into Cassandra’s arms.

Cassandra eyes the limp woman’s body proportions, and nods. Message received. Raven is going to lose her clothes too.

I glance at the unconscious henchbabe. Oh yes, her and her friends’ reputation is DEFINITELY going to take an other blow after tonight…

“What do we do with her?” I ask.

The storage room in which Lark is stashed is a bit faraway. I don’t want to risk dragging Raven all the way there – it would be a bit awkward if Jay, Penguin or their guests saw us.

A grim-faced Cassandra mentions the yacht’s railing with her chin.

I watch the water below. “Isn’t it a bit extreme?”

She groans faintly to showcase her annoyance, and points specifically at the life boat nearby. It’s big enough to conceal a trussed up body, and there’s a tarp covering it.

“Good call.”

Cassandra lays Raven onto the deck, and injects the henchwoman with a sedative. The two of us make short work of Raven’s uniform – leaving the bodyguard babe clad in a black lace-adorned thong and a matching lacy black stick-on bra. Then we restrain her wrists with Cassandra’s second pair of handcuffs. (Of course she’d think of bringing two.) For the legs, we use a coil of rope we found in the lifeboat. Just like me, Cassandra also carries a second ‘bat-gag’, so we silence Raven with it.

However, just like me, she has now spent her last bondage tools.

“Hopefully, there won’t be a third set of henchwomen.” I comment.

I heave Raven’s trussed up body, and throw it into the lifeboat. Then I conceal her unconscious figure with the tarp.

At the same time, Cassandra removes her Ice Maiden disguise, throws the clothes and the ice gun into the sea, and slips into Raven’s Vegas waitress costume.

She hides her equipment belt in the lifeboat with Raven. We don’t have to fear her trying to use it to escape: Our belts are designed to shock into unconsciousness anyone who tries to grab them save for members of the Bat-family. If anything, we’re now more or less sure Raven will stay put even if she wakes up too soon.

Once Cassandra completes her disguise by putting on the bowler hat and strapping the gun’s holster, I notice her short haircut and black hair almost perfectly match Raven’s – just like my hair is almost a dead ringer of Lark’s.

“It’s like it was meant to be…” I comment.

Cassandra shrugs.

“You’re right. Who cares?”

**************

Lark’s and Raven’s outfits have pros and cons.

Cons. I feel like a stripper wearing it, and the feeling of the gadgets concealed in my cleavage isn’t helping.

Pros. The high heels are surprisingly comfortable.

Cons. I REALLY feel like a stripper wearing it, and the feeling of the gadgets concealed in my cleavage REALLY isn’t helping. Thankfully, none of the boys are here.

Pros. We can now walk in the open, and we have an excuse to enter the yacht through the front door. I appreciate the irony.

As we make our way to the door of the upper-deck, I lean towards Cassandra and whispers:

“Think we should take care of Jay while we’re at it?”

Cassandra looks thoughtful.

On the one hand, we don’t need the disguise and we want to be fast. We only have ten minutes left. On the other hand, she may notice too soon that her partners are missing.

Ultimately Jay herself answers our dilemma. When we’re about reach the door, a voice calls us from afar.

“Lark! Raven! Wait!”

The blonde henchwoman seems a bit out-of-breath. She catches her breath while also talking to us. It proves to be a mistake, since it means she doesn’t properly look at our faces.

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Mr Cobblepot called me. Magpie is about to arrive with the diamonds. We must greet her at the back of the ship.”

I share a quick glance with Cassandra. We thought of crashing into Penguin’s little mob party as he was getting the stolen diamonds, but intercepting them on the way is even better.

“We’re on it.”

I ball up a fist.

Cassandra aims a powerful kick.

Jay’s eyes widen when she finally notices Cassandra’s skin is too pale to be Raven’s.

“You’re not- No wait!”

Two crime-fighters against one henchwoman. I think you don’t need the picture. It doesn’t take us time or effort to send her to slumberland.

“Magpie, uh? Trust Penguin to select mercenaries based on his bird-related tastes.” I lightly tap my lip. “We should give her a warm welcome…” I glance at the unconscious blonde hench-babe. Jay is lying curled up on her side. “After we deal with her, of course.”

Right on cue, Cassandra grabs one sleep bomb she was hiding – in her cleavage, great minds think alike. She presses a button to release a bit of gas right under the nostrils of the unconscious Jay, knocking her out for a while.

We drag the blonde in a blind spot.

Cassandra however refuses to waste time returning to the storage room or the life boat to collect some ropes. Unfortunately for Jay, it means we use her tights to bind her wrists and ankles, and we remove the bustier to cut it into a makeshift gag. The blonde hench-babe is left clad in a blue strapless plunge bra and matching high-cut panties with a dark blue strap, and restrained in a blind spot of the upper-deck. Her two partners are already trussed up, and so are the three Ice Maidens, so no risk of someone coming across her.

I smile. “The back of the ship, she said. Let’s catch our next bird then.”

**************

Magpie should arrive any minute now.

Despite my posturing, Cassandra and I look a bit awkward waiting at the back of the ship like some soldiers standing at attention.

We are however careful to not break character. We don’t know when or how Magpie will arrive.

“Why do we have to wait here? Why not at the gangway?” I ask, figuring out the real Lark would complain as well.

I’m answered when a figure on the roof of the warehouse suddenly shoots a grappling hook next to me, and glides to the deck. She lands nimbly in front of us.

Show-off. When Cassandra and I do it, it’s to be discreet. Not to make a spectacle of ourselves.

Good thing we had the foresight to remove our own hooks and cables though. Magpie would’ve become suspicious had she found them.

Upon closer look, Margaret Pye – Magpie – is quite young for a professional cat burglar. Younger than I expected. She seems to be around my age actually.

She dresses in black leather: shorts and a sleeveless top with a front zipper. The collar and shoulders are adorned with black feathers. Her soft boots are mid-thigh-long and also made of black leather. Each arm is covered up to the wrist by one long black leather armband. For some reason, she’s also wearing triangular glasses with slightly tinted light pink lenses. They conceal her greyish blue eyes.

Magpie is white-skinned, a little pale even, with a slim figure and a round face. I suspect she’s using a bit of white powder to make herself look ghostlier. Her hair is white, and shaped into a chin-long square cut. She’s carrying a small black backpack.

I step forward. I’m careful to mimic Lark’s ‘confrontational attitude’. I had a good sample of it in the storage room.

“You got the diamonds?” I bark.

“You got the money?” Magpie retorts.

“I think Mr Cobblepot’s reputation speaks for itself. He always has the money ready for his associates. And the coffins for those who waste his time.”

We stare at each other for a brief moment. However, she’s the first to look away.

Magpie puts her backpack at our feet.

“They’re here. Now, about my payment-”

Cassandra jumps her. Even in high-heels, her speed is enough to take any unsuspecting foe by surprise. So is her talent to go from absolute stillness to sudden movement. She slaps Magpie’s hand away to break her guard. Then she follows with a ‘stomach punch into neckchop’-combo.

Magpie groans, then falls at Cass’ feet, face down and butt up. A particularly embarrassing position.

“Keep the change.” I comment to her unconscious figure.

Of course, she doesn't answer, and I feel a bit awkward looking at her bottom. Not my proudest one-liner. I force myself to focus on her head.

When I see something odd with her hair, I frown and grab it…

… and pull it off without even meaning to.

“Dear God, I think I scalped her!”

I then notice Margaret’s medium blonde hair with warm, golden tones. She’s using a wig net cap to keep them hidden and compressed.

“Oh wait. It’s a wig. You mean she’s not naturally white-haired? Phony.”

My eyes go from the unconscious jewel thief to the wig to Cassandra, then to Magpie again.

I lightly push Cassandra’s bowler hat away, and place the wig on her head. Since she has short hair, the wig fits perfectly.

She frowns and glares.

“Don’t look at me. It’s not my fault you’re as pale as she is.”

She does a few hand signs.

“Why did I do that?” I glance at the unconscious jewel thief. “Well, at first I wanted to intercept the stolen diamonds, but since she’s wearing a wig… and tinted glasses… and she’s roughly your size… and your skin color… and with your short hair you can wear a wig…”

Cassandra waves her hand angrily.

“Okay, I stop beating around the bush. You could impersonate her to gain access to Penguin. We booby-trap the backpack with sleep bombs, and bust everyone out. What do you think?”

She must like the idea, because she rolls Magpie’s unconscious body on the back, and unzips her top. She takes it off, revealing Margaret’s black sports bra. Then she removes the armbands. At the same time, I peel Magpie’s soft boots and shorts down her legs. Her seamless briefs are white and comfortable, designed to not hinder movement. She also wears checkered black-and-white sports socks.

Looks like Magpie wants to stay true to her shtick down to her undies. I roll my eyes.

Cassandra strips down to her own underwear, and slips into the Magpie costume.

Meanwhile, I use Raven’s tights to bind Magpie’s wrists and ankles together, reasoning that a jewel thief is the same thing as a cat burglar. And if Mapie is half the thief Catwoman is, then it’s best to not take any chance and hog-tie her. Strips of Raven’s bustier stuff Margaret’s mouth nicely and make for a fine cleave-gag to silence her. I wonder if Selina will be thankful we rid her of a competitor...

Cassandra finishes disguising herself, using the wig and tinted glasses to conceal her facial features.

We carefully booby-trap the backpack with sleep bombs.

I resist the urge to giggle. “We’re so gonna be the talk of tomorrow… I bet the others will be impressed…”

The corners of Cassandra’s lips twist into a small smile.

We’re interrupted by muffled moans. Magpie has begun to stir and squirm. Her eyelids are flickering. She’s waking up.

I hold one sleep bomb under her nose, and press a button to release a small amount of gas right in her nostrils. She lets out a few more feeble moans, then her body relaxes – though she’s kept in her hog-tied position by the tights.

“Do you mind? This is a private conversation. We’re trying to gloat here.”

I drag her trussed up body in a blind spot of the lower deck. Then I pick up the backpack, and throws it to Cassandra who nimbly catches it.

I smile in advance at the thought of Penguin’s and his guests’ surprise when they open the package, and the sleep bombs puff in their faces.

“We should do this more often.” I tell Cassandra. “I love girls night-outs.”




******* Epilogue *******

It’s hard to read Bruce’s face. Or his voice for that matter. So when he calls you in his office room of Wayne Manor, you never know what to expect.

This time Cassandra and I are, however, pretty confident when we enter the room.

Everything went without a hitch the previous night. Thanks to us Penguin and several prominent gangsters were all caught in one fell swoop, alongside with wanted jewel thief Magpie and six henchwomen.

“Your latest stunt has been on all newspapers, all social medias, all channels. You were the talk of today.” Bruce comments from his office desk.

Cassandra and I stand proud. We don’t pat each other in the back, but the feeling is there. We simply try to not look TOO satisfied with ourselves.

“Well, we don’t want to brag, but~” I begin.

Of course, he immediately dampens our enthusiasm by making it clear it wasn’t a compliment.

“Did you have to leave a trail of half-naked women in the process?”

Cassandra and I exchange an awkward glance. She winces, I grimace.

“Oh.”

Trust the journalists and social medias to twist the facts. We caught red-handed one of Gotham’s most powerful mobsters, but everyone only talks about the sexy ladies found trussed up in their underwear.

I flash Bruce an apologetic smile, and sheepishly offers an explanation:

“Girls night-out?”

He’s not impressed.

I sigh. Damn journalists!

People don’t seem to realize how tough my life can be sometimes.

[rufusluciusivan]

**************

Barbara Gordon / Batgirl:

https://heros.fandom.com/fr/wiki/Barbar ... ime_Earth)

She’s meant to be in her early twenties (think 20 or 21 years-old college student) in this version.

Cassandra Cain / Black Bat:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassandra_Cain

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/ ... n_2024.jpg

She’s meant to be 18 in this version.

The story drew its original inspiration from this fanart:

https://www.deviantart.com/sincity2100/ ... 1195029759

The Ice Maidens:

https://femalevillains.fandom.com/wiki/ ... dventures)

For Jay, Raven, and Lark (Penguin’s henchwomen) I use the designs of the Timm and Dini animated series:

https://femalevillains.fandom.com/wiki/ ... dventures)

Margaret Pye / Magpie is a mash-up of various designs:

- Her outfit mostly draws its inspiration from the 2017 iteration:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/ ... 017%29.png

- The detail of the tinted glasses comes from this design:

https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Magpie?file= ... th_007.jpg

- And I got the idea to make her a young woman after coming across this screenshot from the Gotham live-action series, in which she seems to be rather young:

https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/Magpie_(Gotham)

- I don’t know if she wears a wig in the comics. She probably doesn’t, but it was a convenient way to make sure she’d join the “USB fun”. The joke is that she has the same hair and eye colors as her actress in the Gotham series, Sarah Schenkkan.

https://gotham.fandom.com/wiki/Sarah_Schenkkan

[ascetic]

Ah, storage rooms, villanous henchgirls, female bodyguards in sexy uniforms: my favorite types of uniform stealing elements. Very nice one-shot. I enjoyed reading it very much.

[rufusluciusivan]

Ah, storage rooms, villanous henchgirls, female bodyguards in sexy uniforms: my favorite types of uniform stealing elements. Very nice one-shot. I enjoyed reading it very much.

Thanks a lot. I'm glad you enjoyed it. When it comes to comicbook-inspired USB stories, I confess I have a slight preference for Marvel's universe and characters. Batman is my favorite comicbook hero, but ironically his universe appeals to me outside of the USB - I don't find much inspiration for USB stories. A bit too gritty for my kind of USB stories. However, DC has no shortage of sexy henchgirls and bodyguards, so I owed Batman's universe at least one venture.

[meditions142]

Fantastic and fun story.

I particularly enjoyed the take outs of the two Ice Maiden guards at the beginning.

Love how Barbara pins the first woman down to question her. Then, once she has the information she needs she sprays her with the knockout gas. And love the bat-ballgag. Great device!

Then we get the fun and very different take out of the second woman by Cassandra. Love how she knocks her out with the sleeperhold and then just lets her body drop to the floor.

Guess that was why Barbara later thinks "I’m not quite comfortable with how brutal she’s being."

Also love the image of the woman starting to wake up and then Cassandra jamming the needle with knockout drug into her neck. Love the description "Cassandra rolls the blond Ice Maiden’s body on the stomach with her foot. When the henchgirl stirs and moans faintly, she roughly jabs a syringe into her neck and injects her with a knock-out drug. The blonde’s body goes still again."

I also like the imagery of extended conversation Barbara and Cassandra have (including what had happened to the third guard) while the woman's unconscious body lays at their feet.

Then we even get a nice dragging scene.

Just a wonderfully described scene

[rufusluciusivan]

Fantastic and fun story.

I particularly enjoyed the take outs of the two Ice Maiden guards at the beginning.

Love how Barbara pins the first woman down to question her. Then, once she has the information she needs she sprays her with the knockout gas. And love the bat-ballgag. Great device!

Then we get the fun and very different take out of the second woman by Cassandra. Love how she knocks her out with the sleeperhold and then just lets her body drop to the floor.

Guess that was why Barbara later thinks "I’m not quite comfortable with how brutal she’s being."

Also love the image of the woman starting to wake up and then Cassandra jamming the needle with knockout drug into her neck. Love the description "Cassandra rolls the blond Ice Maiden’s body on the stomach with her foot. When the henchgirl stirs and moans faintly, she roughly jabs a syringe into her neck and injects her with a knock-out drug. The blonde’s body goes still again."

I also like the imagery of extended conversation Barbara and Cassandra have (including what had happened to the third guard) while the woman's unconscious body lays at their feet.

Then we even get a nice dragging scene.

Just a wonderfully described scene

Thanks a lot for your kind comments. At first, the story was meant to be a brief one-shot with only Barbara and the black-haired Ice Maiden, hence why their scene is very detailed, and I'm not surprised it is among those who have caught your attention.

Cassandra was added later during the writing process, when the one-shot turned into its own mini self-contained story. I think she and Barbara have a good dynamic - if a classic one: extrovert VS introvert, loud VS quiet, wise gal VS straight girl. The main obstacle was that Cassandra is supposed to be speech-impaired, since her backstory is that her father who trained her without communication for all her life, this is in turn why she can understand and predict the body movement of her enemies. Writing funny dialogues when one character barely talks was a challenge, but I'm happy with the result. Barbara feels probably a bit "Marvel", but since she needed to ask the questions and give the answers, she had to have this bubbly energetic personality. This version of Barbara is not exactly a rookie, but she's still young and eager to prove herself. She has one or two years of training under her belt, but she's still learning and can make mistakes. Her dialogues are meant to hint that she's still the most inexperienced of Batman's students - Dick is a bit older, and Cassandra is younger but due to her upbringing she's already more efficient.

However, Cassandra is also very glum, serious and intense (Earth-USB Catwoman would call her "Mini Bruce" ), and being with Barbara helps her loosen and feel better. (Of course, their idea of a fun night-out between girls

Yes the narration emphasizes Cassandra's cold and efficient brutality, to better contrast with Barbara and with the Marvel saga. I know there are tons of counterexamples, but in my subconscious DC is and will always feel darker and grittier than Marvel. Guess this has to do with me discovering DC with Batman and Marvel with Spider-Man. Had I discovered DC with Superman and Marvel with the Punisher, maybe I'd be singing an other tune...

The "bat-ballgag" felt like an idea that could be a little funny joke, but at the same time I thought it would fit the whole "I have contingency plan for everything" which is a stable of Batman's character. In a way, it felt like a logical gadget for a hero who doesn't kill. Who knows. Maybe it is actually canon in some obscure issue, and I'm not aware of it...

I agree that few things are sexier than the imagery of an infiltrator dragging the limp unconscious body of the sentry she had just mugged. It helps that any random henchwoman of Batman TAS is a stunner.

[meditions142]

I agree that few things are sexier than the imagery of an infiltrator dragging the limp unconscious body of the sentry she had just mugged. It helps that any random henchwoman of Batman TAS is a stunner.

Indeed. Made even better when the sentry is half naked having been already stripped of her uniform.

It is wonderful that the random henchwomen are hotties and also wonderfully incompetent like these two. And presumably the third.

Wonder what Cassandra did to knock that one out?

[rufusluciusivan]

I agree that few things are sexier than the imagery of an infiltrator dragging the limp unconscious body of the sentry she had just mugged. It helps that any random henchwoman of Batman TAS is a stunner.

Indeed. Made even better when the sentry is half naked having been already stripped of her uniform.

It is wonderful that the random henchwomen are hotties and also wonderfully incompetent like these two. And presumably the third.

Wonder what Cassandra did to knock that one out?

Half naked and stripped of her uniform is indeed better, of course.

A bit ironically, in the episode in which these girls are featured (Cold Comfort https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/ ... oldComfort ), they are actually quite competent and able to put up a fight against Batman and Batgirl. (They have the same fondness for wicked ice puns though.) Guess they were having an off day in my story...

Cassandra ambushed the third Ice Maiden while the latter was patrolling outside. She concealed herself in the shadows, and ambushed the Ice Maiden from behind. She knocked her out with a neck job, sedated her with an other injection, hog-tied her with a cable she took in a pouch of her equipment belt, and used a "bat gag". (Yes, it means that she actually was farsighted enough to bring three of those.) Then she dropped the Ice Maiden in an empty dumpster.

[tirepanted3]

An amusing little one-shot that's an interesting change of pace from some of the more complex stories of late.

I understand and agree with your point about DC being less easily translatable to USB sagas than Marvel, though for a slightly different reason - DC's stories have usually struck me as more "fantastical" in nature, and apart from a few grounded elements like Gotham City, there isn't a lot that translates easily to USB shenanigans.

Still, it works well here, with Batgirl a good POV protagonist. As a longtime Barbara Gordon fan, I'm of course quite receptive to her taking front and center in one of these stories, and you captured her voice nicely. Considering her penchant for disguises (like most of the Bat-Family), I've always been a little disappointed by the lack of USB scenes featuring her in the mainstream. (There's an old Batgirl comic from the 1970s where she knocks out an evil doppelganger and takes her place - but alas, no costume stealing.)

It's a little odd trying to picture comic book designs of characters like Barbara and Cassandra alongside animated series characters like Penguin's bodyguards and the Ice Maidens, but it wasn't such a problem. And I agree that BTAS (and TNBA, where these character designs are from) had some particularly great and memorable henchwomen. Other favorites were Poison Ivy's henchwomen (Violet and Lily) from the "Eternal Youth" episode and of course Harley Quinn, though she's long since transcended henchwomen status.

(I confess that I never liked the "Cold Comfort" episode which featured the Ice Maidens - found it to be a weak portrayal of Mr. Freeze, who was usually one of the show's best villains. But the Ice Maidens were certainly cute. I think Bruce Timm's original plan for the episode was for Freeze to have one single henchwomen who never spoke, but the writers instead settled upon a trio of semi-wisecracking ladies.)

I was surprised to see Cassandra Cain play a part in this story (I had completely forgotten she briefly had the "Black Bat" mantle in the comics - I always think of her as either Batgirl or Orphan). Good character, well used here, especially considering her lack of dialogue. And between the redheaded Barbara and the brunette Cassandra, easy pickings to replace Lark and Raven. Although it's too bad Stephanie Brown - aka the third Batgirl in the comics - wasn't there to fill out the "blonde" role and steal Jay's outfit.

https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Stephanie_Br ... ime_Earth)

The USB scenes themselves were fun and light, if a bit heavy on the "ice" puns. It's not quite as bad as Arnold's lines in the movie Batman and Robin, but still... I also liked Barbara's cautionary attitude about Cassandra's rough treatment of the henchwomen.

Also appreciated the little "Girls Night Out" reference. Little callbacks to the animated series are always fun.

And of course, this story is instantly responsible for crafting one of the most iconic Batman lines ever:

“Did you have to leave a trail of half-naked women in the process?”

Poor Bruce, I suppose.

Overall, enjoyable little story. And good to see the DC world join in on a little USB action. (Earth-USBDC?)

[rufusluciusivan]

An amusing little one-shot that's an interesting change of pace from some of the more complex stories of late.

I understand and agree with your point about DC being less easily translatable to USB sagas than Marvel, though for a slightly different reason - DC's stories have usually struck me as more "fantastical" in nature, and apart from a few grounded elements like Gotham City, there isn't a lot that translates easily to USB shenanigans.

Still, it works well here, with Batgirl a good POV protagonist. As a longtime Barbara Gordon fan, I'm of course quite receptive to her taking front and center in one of these stories, and you captured her voice nicely. Considering her penchant for disguises (like most of the Bat-Family), I've always been a little disappointed by the lack of USB scenes featuring her in the mainstream. (There's an old Batgirl comic from the 1970s where she knocks out an evil doppelganger and takes her place - but alas, no costume stealing.)

It's a little odd trying to picture comic book designs of characters like Barbara and Cassandra alongside animated series characters like Penguin's bodyguards and the Ice Maidens, but it wasn't such a problem. And I agree that BTAS (and TNBA, where these character designs are from) had some particularly great and memorable henchwomen. Other favorites were Poison Ivy's henchwomen (Violet and Lily) from the "Eternal Youth" episode and of course Harley Quinn, though she's long since transcended henchwomen status.

(I confess that I never liked the "Cold Comfort" episode which featured the Ice Maidens - found it to be a weak portrayal of Mr. Freeze, who was usually one of the show's best villains. But the Ice Maidens were certainly cute. I think Bruce Timm's original plan for the episode was for Freeze to have one single henchwomen who never spoke, but the writers instead settled upon a trio of semi-wisecracking ladies.)

I was surprised to see Cassandra Cain play a part in this story (I had completely forgotten she briefly had the "Black Bat" mantle in the comics - I always think of her as either Batgirl or Orphan). Good character, well used here, especially considering her lack of dialogue. And between the redheaded Barbara and the brunette Cassandra, easy pickings to replace Lark and Raven. Although it's too bad Stephanie Brown - aka the third Batgirl in the comics - wasn't there to fill out the "blonde" role and steal Jay's outfit.

https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/Stephanie_Br ... ime_Earth)

The USB scenes themselves were fun and light, if a bit heavy on the "ice" puns. It's not quite as bad as Arnold's lines in the movie Batman and Robin, but still... I also liked Barbara's cautionary attitude about Cassandra's rough treatment of the henchwomen.

Also appreciated the little "Girls Night Out" reference. Little callbacks to the animated series are always fun.

And of course, this story is instantly responsible for crafting one of the most iconic Batman lines ever:

“Did you have to leave a trail of half-naked women in the process?”

Poor Bruce, I suppose.

Overall, enjoyable little story. And good to see the DC world join in on a little USB action. (Earth-USBDC?)

Thanks for your review. It indeed felt nice to write this little disjointed one-shot. I don't exclude writing one or a couple more of these, but while I'd give hints they all take place in the same universe this wouldn't turn into a full saga - just a couple of disjointed small stories with references to each others. The hints to Catwoman, and to Huntress' falling out with the Bat Team, are here for a reason...

Batgirl is the DC character who translates the most easily in my style. She strikes me as the most upbeat and peppy of her team - her animated series version is the reference in my head - so her spouting quips and teasing Cassandra felt natural. She's not a rookie, but she's still learning so she can make some blunders.

I came across Cassandra when I did some research for the story. I guess not having any comicbook knowledge was a plus here - the first mention of her I read online was as Black Bat, so I'm learning right now through you it's actually an identity she didn't have for long! From the moment I read about her, I knew Cassandra would be a must for my story. Basically, I expanded the tale because I wanted to include her. She's the perfect counterpoint to Batgirl. Writing her interactions with Barbara was my favorite part of the one-shot. Their dynamic allows for funny moments. Writing interactions when one character seldom talks was quite the challenge, but I think it also sets their dynamic apart from the many similar ones I wrote across the years. Batgirl doing the questions and the answers allows for fun moments, but it's also lowkey very heartwarming. It shows they're on the same page, they don't need to talk to understand each other. The idea is that Cassandra is a girl who desperately needs (and secretly craves) affection and some "normalcy". Having a "kinda big sister" who teases her - and whom she can tease in return by being a little miss perfect - is the best thing that could happen to her. (Of course, them being heroines means their idea of a girls night out is to knock around evil henchgirls and steal their outfits. Normalcy can only go so far... ) Sure, Cassandra is all intense and can't fully overcome her conditioning - hence why Batgirl is sometimes a bit unnerved by her efficient (if non-lethal) brutality. However, you see the true Cassandra when she lightly punches Barbara in the shoulder for making a bad pun or when she and Barbara are resisting the urge to gloat and pat each other in the back in Bruce's office after a mission well done.

Batman TAS (and the New Adventures of Batman) indeed gave some of my favorite evil henchwomen of all times. Jay, Raven, and Lark were my favorites, but I also remember Lily and Violet. Trust me, I have these two in a corner of my head.

I pictured in my head some middle-ground design blending comicbook and animated series, but I knew from the start I wanted to use Lark, Raven, and Jay's BTAS/THBA designs (and the Ice Maidens to my knowledge don't have comicbook designs). Personally, I strongly dislike the comicbook designs of Jay, Raven, and Lark. I get the idea: the author wanted to give them more individuality. However, I think them not wearing the same outfit removes the whole "henchwoman team"-vibe, and that's a great loss.

To be honest, I share your dislike of Cold Comfort. Really hated what they did with Mr Freeze's character here, it felt like a gross retcon and mischaracterization. In my opinion, the Ice Maidens (and their USB-compatible outfits) are the only saving grace of this episode.

I did learn about Stephanie Brown during my research and for the longest time I did ponder whether I should feature her or not. Ultimately, I chose against for the sake of pacing and simplicity - I didn't want to introduce an other "main" character this late in the one-shot. Especially one who's supposed to be Batgirl, since Barabara is still Batgirl in this version of Gotham. Plus, as I mentioned I grew up with the Batman animated series (plus the New Adventures of Batman) and no other DC material (save for the other animated series at the time: Superman, Justice League TAS, Batman Beyond...). So subconsciously, in my head the "Bat-Family" is Bruce, Dick, Tim, and Barbara, and nobody else. Cassandra was added because she really caught my attention, but Stephanie, Jason Todd, and Damien Wayne weren't.

"Earth USBDC" is still a vague concept in my head, but as of now I picture the Bat Team as this: Core members are Bruce (Batman); Dick (Nightwing, with a relationship with Bruce NOT tainted like in the New Adventures of Batman); Tim (Robin); Barbara (Batgirl), and Cassandra (Black Bat). Just like in canon, Catwoman is an on-again off-again ally of circumstances (and in on-again off-again relationship with Bruce) - though she's still a criminal and cat burglar. Huntress used to be a close ally of the team, but she often conflicted with Bruce because of his "no-kill" rule. Batgirl's one-shot begins a few months after a nasty falling-out between Huntress and Bruce. Basically, she broke the spine of a particularly nasty mob boss to circumvent the "no kill" rule, and during the subsequent argument with Bruce she chose to cut ties with him and his team. Currently, while they don't see her as an enemy, they also don't see her as an ally (and Huntress shares the sentiment).

Though I guess I could upload the version of the scene featuring Stephanie as a sort of "non-canon cut content" if I get the motivation to finish its draft and if people are interested...

Ice puns were sadly(?) needed when featuring the Ice Maidens - it's about half of their identity in canon. (Yes, Barbara says "Chill out" to Lark on purpose - she knows what kind of girl she's impersonating.)

Poor Bruce... He already has so much in his life, and now he's realizing he's in a USB Universe...

The Girls Night Out pun was an accident actually.

Earth-USBDC lol. DC sadly won't get as much attention from me as Marvel, but it may receive one or two more one-shots in the future. Who knows?