Red Rock II Chapter 3:- Big Trouble in Baton Rouge( A USB Story by Rufusluciusivan and Stormtrooper1990)

[rufusluciusivan]

Great new chapter!

I really liked the scene with the nurses. Love the imagery of Nancy sizing Lottie up and confirming she it the right size. Then great comment: "First step, borrow the clothes of this nurse…"

Then Nancy sneaking up behind her while the pretty young woman went about her business totally unaware she was about to be attacked. Even helping the process along by getting the syringe with a strong dose of laudanum ready. With Nancy then thinking "Thank you for your cooperation. You’re a sweetheart, making things easier for me..."

Love too that Lottie was wearing rather unique underwear and Nancy checking to see if she is married.

And also love the idea of the other nurse coming in and Nancy having to put her to sleep too. Fantastic the way the brunette is talking to Nancy and never realizes its not Lottie. Then love the comment to her "Nothing personal, I just need you out of the picture.”

And really like the image of Nancy putting the two deeply sedated women in beds next to each other.

Really find the whole thing so perfect. We first get Lottie who has the misfortune of being alone and about Nancy's size. Then the brunette who walks in at the wrong time and seals her own fate.

You didn't mention it but I assume the brunette nurse was quite good looking as well.

The scene with Lottie and her friend is my personal highlight of this chapter as well, so I'm glad it left such an impact on you. I tried making it stand out as much as I could, such as with the more unique brand of underwear - though it is indeed a real undergarment. (Not spoiling things, but this kind of underwear may return at some point.) Same with adding the detail Lottie is a married girl - and that's why she wears those specific undergarments, she has plans for tonight... I wanted Lottie to stand out.

I didn't have any reference in mind when I wrote the double takedown of the nurses, to answer a question from an other comment of yours here. I just went along with the flow of my idea, and I indeed found the imagery of Nancy having to sedate a second nurse to protect her cover, and leave her on the bed next to Lottie, quite sexy.

The other scenes were tons of fun to write. Carol-Anne and Eli (whose memorable funny dialogues were provided by stormtrooper) are also damsels I'm fond of. Endearingly dumb, dare I say. Them being "cartoonishly" knocked out off-screen is a detail I like a lot.

As for Jane, she was indeed quite unlucky - her fate mirrors Lottie's friend - though I can reassure you she barely had the time to feel pain. A few seconds, and she was out cold. Subconsciously, Sand indeed had some frustration to vent - but the brunt of it exploded with her target, as his crime resonated with her own backstory.

Some behind-the-scenes. Stormtrooper may remember this chapter was actually the hardest to write for me (for some reason even I have trouble to understand). It was meant to be more "filler-like" - the adventure with a smaller scale in-between two plot-heavy chapters, and maybe that's why it felt harder to write. It didn't have the same stakes as the next chapter. Would you believe me if I said Chapter 4 was actually fully finished BEFORE Chapter 3?

I guess an other reason why writing this chapter was hard was because I still needed to get the hang of Sand's character. It's through the writing of her relationship with Sylvié (plus an other part of her development that will be revealed at the end of chapter 4) that I finally figured out where I wanted this character to go. Once again, many PMs were exchanged to get this result, and ST and I both hope the result of our back-and-forth will be to your liking.

And now I can finally discuss Sylvié, since this chapter features her properly becoming part of the main cast. She is indeed my favorite heroine. And no, not JUST because she's French. By herself, she has a very pleasant personality - you've probably seen she can be a bit snarky, a bit of a troll, and like teasing her friends, like she did with Clinton, and trust me in the next chapters she'll come out of her shell. She also has some self-esteem issues due to her background that make her very sympathetic. And she's a perfect foil for Sand, both for funny scenes and emotional scenes - where Sand is cold and no-nonsense, Sylvié is emotional and a bit of a joker. Chapter 4 will show how she becomes a full-fledge member of the team - including when it comes to USB business.

[meditions142]

The scene with Lottie and her friend is my personal highlight of this chapter as well, so I'm glad it left such an impact on you. I tried making it stand out as much as I could, such as with the more unique brand of underwear - though it is indeed a real undergarment. (Not spoiling things, but this kind of underwear may return at some point.) Same with adding the detail Lottie is a married girl - and that's why she wears those specific undergarments, she has plans for tonight... I wanted Lottie to stand out.

I didn't have any reference in mind when I wrote the double takedown of the nurses, to answer a question from an other comment of yours here. I just went along with the flow of my idea, and I indeed found the imagery of Nancy having to sedate a second nurse to protect her cover, and leave her on the bed next to Lottie, quite sexy.

The other scenes were tons of fun to write. Carol-Anne and Eli (whose memorable funny dialogues were provided by stormtrooper) are also damsels I'm fond of. Endearingly dumb, dare I say. Them being "cartoonishly" knocked out off-screen is a detail I like a lot.

As for Jane, she was indeed quite unlucky - her fate mirrors Lottie's friend - though I can reassure you she barely had the time to feel pain. A few seconds, and she was out cold. Subconsciously, Sand indeed had some frustration to vent - but the brunt of it exploded with her target, as his crime resonated with her own backstory.

Some behind-the-scenes. Stormtrooper may remember this chapter was actually the hardest to write for me (for some reason even I have trouble to understand). It was meant to be more "filler-like" - the adventure with a smaller scale in-between two plot-heavy chapters, and maybe that's why it felt harder to write. It didn't have the same stakes as the next chapter. Would you believe me if I said Chapter 4 was actually fully finished BEFORE Chapter 3?

I guess an other reason why writing this chapter was hard was because I still needed to get the hang of Sand's character. It's through the writing of her relationship with Sylvié (plus an other part of her development that will be revealed at the end of chapter 4) that I finally figured out where I wanted this character to go. Once again, many PMs were exchanged to get this result, and ST and I both hope the result of our back-and-forth will be to your liking.

And now I can finally discuss Sylvié, since this chapter features her properly becoming part of the main cast. She is indeed my favorite heroine. And no, not JUST because she's French. By herself, she has a very pleasant personality - you've probably seen she can be a bit snarky, a bit of a troll, and like teasing her friends, like she did with Clinton, and trust me in the next chapters she'll come out of her shell. She also has some self-esteem issues due to her background that make her very sympathetic. And she's a perfect foil for Sand, both for funny scenes and emotional scenes - where Sand is cold and no-nonsense, Sylvié is emotional and a bit of a joker. Chapter 4 will show how she becomes a full-fledge member of the team - including when it comes to USB business.

I have to say I am really impressed with he detail, time and thought you both are putting into this story. The character development is amazing. And I definitely am impressed or how you are crafting Sylvié's character. You have taken her from a small part character and made her into a deep, rich main character. Looking forward to seeing the continued development.

[Stormtrooper1990]

Great new chapter!

I really liked the scene with the nurses. Love the imagery of Nancy sizing Lottie up and confirming she it the right size. Then great comment: "First step, borrow the clothes of this nurse…"

Then Nancy sneaking up behind her while the pretty young woman went about her business totally unaware she was about to be attacked. Even helping the process along by getting the syringe with a strong dose of laudanum ready. With Nancy then thinking "Thank you for your cooperation. You’re a sweetheart, making things easier for me..."

Love too that Lottie was wearing rather unique underwear and Nancy checking to see if she is married.

And also love the idea of the other nurse coming in and Nancy having to put her to sleep too. Fantastic the way the brunette is talking to Nancy and never realizes its not Lottie. Then love the comment to her "Nothing personal, I just need you out of the picture.”

And really like the image of Nancy putting the two deeply sedated women in beds next to each other.

Really find the whole thing so perfect. We first get Lottie who has the misfortune of being alone and about Nancy's size. Then the brunette who walks in at the wrong time and seals her own fate.

You didn't mention it but I assume the brunette nurse was quite good looking as well.

The scene with Lottie and her friend is my personal highlight of this chapter as well, so I'm glad it left such an impact on you. I tried making it stand out as much as I could, such as with the more unique brand of underwear - though it is indeed a real undergarment. (Not spoiling things, but this kind of underwear may return at some point.) Same with adding the detail Lottie is a married girl - and that's why she wears those specific undergarments, she has plans for tonight... I wanted Lottie to stand out.

I didn't have any reference in mind when I wrote the double takedown of the nurses, to answer a question from an other comment of yours here. I just went along with the flow of my idea, and I indeed found the imagery of Nancy having to sedate a second nurse to protect her cover, and leave her on the bed next to Lottie, quite sexy.

The other scenes were tons of fun to write. Carol-Anne and Eli (whose memorable funny dialogues were provided by stormtrooper) are also damsels I'm fond of. Endearingly dumb, dare I say. Them being "cartoonishly" knocked out off-screen is a detail I like a lot.

As for Jane, she was indeed quite unlucky - her fate mirrors Lottie's friend - though I can reassure you she barely had the time to feel pain. A few seconds, and she was out cold. Subconsciously, Sand indeed had some frustration to vent - but the brunt of it exploded with her target, as his crime resonated with her own backstory.

Some behind-the-scenes. Stormtrooper may remember this chapter was actually the hardest to write for me (for some reason even I have trouble to understand). It was meant to be more "filler-like" - the adventure with a smaller scale in-between two plot-heavy chapters, and maybe that's why it felt harder to write. It didn't have the same stakes as the next chapter. Would you believe me if I said Chapter 4 was actually fully finished BEFORE Chapter 3?

I guess an other reason why writing this chapter was hard was because I still needed to get the hang of Sand's character. It's through the writing of her relationship with Sylvié (plus an other part of her development that will be revealed at the end of chapter 4) that I finally figured out where I wanted this character to go. Once again, many PMs were exchanged to get this result, and ST and I both hope the result of our back-and-forth will be to your liking.

And now I can finally discuss Sylvié, since this chapter features her properly becoming part of the main cast. She is indeed my favorite heroine. And no, not JUST because she's French. By herself, she has a very pleasant personality - you've probably seen she can be a bit snarky, a bit of a troll, and like teasing her friends, like she did with Clinton, and trust me in the next chapters she'll come out of her shell. She also has some self-esteem issues due to her background that make her very sympathetic. And she's a perfect foil for Sand, both for funny scenes and emotional scenes - where Sand is cold and no-nonsense, Sylvié is emotional and a bit of a joker. Chapter 4 will show how she becomes a full-fledge member of the team - including when it comes to USB business.

Yeah, the scene with Carol-Anne and Eli was our tip of the hat to the Baton Rouge mission in Desperadoes 3 where swamp witches and dumb-as-a brick locals feature prominently, but as rufus pointed out endearingly so. I knew when we first put together this chapter, that swamp witches just had to feature somewhere and the funny dialogue I put together just came naturally, and I'm glad that it's been so well received. Honestly, it feels good to write some comedy for a change.


Indeed, I remember that rufus did confide in me that he felt this chapter was the most hardest to write because of the smaller stakes nature and getting the hang of Sand’s character. But thanks to our back and forth PMs regarding Sand and developing her relationship with Sylvié, I think that rufus as done a great job at representing her character especially in the later chapters. And yes, Chapter 4 was finished well in advance of Chapter 3 which rufus would agree helped a great in understanding where to go with Sand in the saga. You could say Sylvié came to his rescue


Which brings us into the subject of Sylvié, a character that both Rufus and I have a certain fondness for. And I will second Rufus' motion by saying she has grown on me too, becoming my favourite unsung heroine of the saga too. I think Rufus put it eloquently why Sylvié is so infectious; her kindness, beauty, snarky sense of humour but also her low self-esteem make her both relatable and sympathetic all at once. A perfect counterpoint for Sand's no nonsense and sometimes prickly demeanor, and a clear example of that old axiom of opposites attracting. I know Rufus will echo this in my saying that we enjoyed fleshing out Sylvié and watching her grow as a character into the heart of Team Nancy. And for allowing the readers to see that soft human side of Sand. Chapter 4 like rufus said will be the chapter were we'll see Sylvié come into her own and join in on the USB Shenanigans, particularly with her Navajo lover.

[rufusluciusivan]

The scene with Lottie and her friend is my personal highlight of this chapter as well, so I'm glad it left such an impact on you. I tried making it stand out as much as I could, such as with the more unique brand of underwear - though it is indeed a real undergarment. (Not spoiling things, but this kind of underwear may return at some point.) Same with adding the detail Lottie is a married girl - and that's why she wears those specific undergarments, she has plans for tonight... I wanted Lottie to stand out.

I didn't have any reference in mind when I wrote the double takedown of the nurses, to answer a question from an other comment of yours here. I just went along with the flow of my idea, and I indeed found the imagery of Nancy having to sedate a second nurse to protect her cover, and leave her on the bed next to Lottie, quite sexy.

The other scenes were tons of fun to write. Carol-Anne and Eli (whose memorable funny dialogues were provided by stormtrooper) are also damsels I'm fond of. Endearingly dumb, dare I say. Them being "cartoonishly" knocked out off-screen is a detail I like a lot.

As for Jane, she was indeed quite unlucky - her fate mirrors Lottie's friend - though I can reassure you she barely had the time to feel pain. A few seconds, and she was out cold. Subconsciously, Sand indeed had some frustration to vent - but the brunt of it exploded with her target, as his crime resonated with her own backstory.

Some behind-the-scenes. Stormtrooper may remember this chapter was actually the hardest to write for me (for some reason even I have trouble to understand). It was meant to be more "filler-like" - the adventure with a smaller scale in-between two plot-heavy chapters, and maybe that's why it felt harder to write. It didn't have the same stakes as the next chapter. Would you believe me if I said Chapter 4 was actually fully finished BEFORE Chapter 3?

I guess an other reason why writing this chapter was hard was because I still needed to get the hang of Sand's character. It's through the writing of her relationship with Sylvié (plus an other part of her development that will be revealed at the end of chapter 4) that I finally figured out where I wanted this character to go. Once again, many PMs were exchanged to get this result, and ST and I both hope the result of our back-and-forth will be to your liking.

And now I can finally discuss Sylvié, since this chapter features her properly becoming part of the main cast. She is indeed my favorite heroine. And no, not JUST because she's French. By herself, she has a very pleasant personality - you've probably seen she can be a bit snarky, a bit of a troll, and like teasing her friends, like she did with Clinton, and trust me in the next chapters she'll come out of her shell. She also has some self-esteem issues due to her background that make her very sympathetic. And she's a perfect foil for Sand, both for funny scenes and emotional scenes - where Sand is cold and no-nonsense, Sylvié is emotional and a bit of a joker. Chapter 4 will show how she becomes a full-fledge member of the team - including when it comes to USB business.

I have to say I am really impressed with he detail, time and thought you both are putting into this story. The character development is amazing. And I definitely am impressed or how you are crafting Sylvié's character. You have taken her from a small part character and made her into a deep, rich main character. Looking forward to seeing the continued development.

What I appreciate the most about Sylvié is that she's not just here for the gag or the reference. Sure, she will bring humour to the table, but she's a full-fledge character with her own arc revolving around her asserting herself, and building a relationship with Sand. As shown with Chapter 3, this needs some adjustment from both parts, their personalities are very different so realistically there's bound to be some hiccups and misunderstandings, but it makes the pay-off more satisfying.

[Stormtrooper1990]

The scene with Lottie and her friend is my personal highlight of this chapter as well, so I'm glad it left such an impact on you. I tried making it stand out as much as I could, such as with the more unique brand of underwear - though it is indeed a real undergarment. (Not spoiling things, but this kind of underwear may return at some point.) Same with adding the detail Lottie is a married girl - and that's why she wears those specific undergarments, she has plans for tonight... I wanted Lottie to stand out.

I didn't have any reference in mind when I wrote the double takedown of the nurses, to answer a question from an other comment of yours here. I just went along with the flow of my idea, and I indeed found the imagery of Nancy having to sedate a second nurse to protect her cover, and leave her on the bed next to Lottie, quite sexy.

The other scenes were tons of fun to write. Carol-Anne and Eli (whose memorable funny dialogues were provided by stormtrooper) are also damsels I'm fond of. Endearingly dumb, dare I say. Them being "cartoonishly" knocked out off-screen is a detail I like a lot.

As for Jane, she was indeed quite unlucky - her fate mirrors Lottie's friend - though I can reassure you she barely had the time to feel pain. A few seconds, and she was out cold. Subconsciously, Sand indeed had some frustration to vent - but the brunt of it exploded with her target, as his crime resonated with her own backstory.

Some behind-the-scenes. Stormtrooper may remember this chapter was actually the hardest to write for me (for some reason even I have trouble to understand). It was meant to be more "filler-like" - the adventure with a smaller scale in-between two plot-heavy chapters, and maybe that's why it felt harder to write. It didn't have the same stakes as the next chapter. Would you believe me if I said Chapter 4 was actually fully finished BEFORE Chapter 3?

I guess an other reason why writing this chapter was hard was because I still needed to get the hang of Sand's character. It's through the writing of her relationship with Sylvié (plus an other part of her development that will be revealed at the end of chapter 4) that I finally figured out where I wanted this character to go. Once again, many PMs were exchanged to get this result, and ST and I both hope the result of our back-and-forth will be to your liking.

And now I can finally discuss Sylvié, since this chapter features her properly becoming part of the main cast. She is indeed my favorite heroine. And no, not JUST because she's French. By herself, she has a very pleasant personality - you've probably seen she can be a bit snarky, a bit of a troll, and like teasing her friends, like she did with Clinton, and trust me in the next chapters she'll come out of her shell. She also has some self-esteem issues due to her background that make her very sympathetic. And she's a perfect foil for Sand, both for funny scenes and emotional scenes - where Sand is cold and no-nonsense, Sylvié is emotional and a bit of a joker. Chapter 4 will show how she becomes a full-fledge member of the team - including when it comes to USB business.

I have to say I am really impressed with he detail, time and thought you both are putting into this story. The character development is amazing. And I definitely am impressed or how you are crafting Sylvié's character. You have taken her from a small part character and made her into a deep, rich main character. Looking forward to seeing the continued development.

Thank you, my friend. I'm sure I can speak for Rufus when I say we appreciate the compliment and glad to hear that Sylvié is leaving such an impression on you as she did with the both of us. It's crazy to think that she started out as a meek, innocent maid held up by our heroes for her clothes but gratifying to see how much she's grown into a strong, beautiful character. I can assure you that for Sylvié, her adventure and relationship with her sweet Sand has only just begun, there's more in store for both of them.

[Stormtrooper1990]

The scene with Lottie and her friend is my personal highlight of this chapter as well, so I'm glad it left such an impact on you. I tried making it stand out as much as I could, such as with the more unique brand of underwear - though it is indeed a real undergarment. (Not spoiling things, but this kind of underwear may return at some point.) Same with adding the detail Lottie is a married girl - and that's why she wears those specific undergarments, she has plans for tonight... I wanted Lottie to stand out.

I didn't have any reference in mind when I wrote the double takedown of the nurses, to answer a question from an other comment of yours here. I just went along with the flow of my idea, and I indeed found the imagery of Nancy having to sedate a second nurse to protect her cover, and leave her on the bed next to Lottie, quite sexy.

The other scenes were tons of fun to write. Carol-Anne and Eli (whose memorable funny dialogues were provided by stormtrooper) are also damsels I'm fond of. Endearingly dumb, dare I say. Them being "cartoonishly" knocked out off-screen is a detail I like a lot.

As for Jane, she was indeed quite unlucky - her fate mirrors Lottie's friend - though I can reassure you she barely had the time to feel pain. A few seconds, and she was out cold. Subconsciously, Sand indeed had some frustration to vent - but the brunt of it exploded with her target, as his crime resonated with her own backstory.

Some behind-the-scenes. Stormtrooper may remember this chapter was actually the hardest to write for me (for some reason even I have trouble to understand). It was meant to be more "filler-like" - the adventure with a smaller scale in-between two plot-heavy chapters, and maybe that's why it felt harder to write. It didn't have the same stakes as the next chapter. Would you believe me if I said Chapter 4 was actually fully finished BEFORE Chapter 3?

I guess an other reason why writing this chapter was hard was because I still needed to get the hang of Sand's character. It's through the writing of her relationship with Sylvié (plus an other part of her development that will be revealed at the end of chapter 4) that I finally figured out where I wanted this character to go. Once again, many PMs were exchanged to get this result, and ST and I both hope the result of our back-and-forth will be to your liking.

And now I can finally discuss Sylvié, since this chapter features her properly becoming part of the main cast. She is indeed my favorite heroine. And no, not JUST because she's French. By herself, she has a very pleasant personality - you've probably seen she can be a bit snarky, a bit of a troll, and like teasing her friends, like she did with Clinton, and trust me in the next chapters she'll come out of her shell. She also has some self-esteem issues due to her background that make her very sympathetic. And she's a perfect foil for Sand, both for funny scenes and emotional scenes - where Sand is cold and no-nonsense, Sylvié is emotional and a bit of a joker. Chapter 4 will show how she becomes a full-fledge member of the team - including when it comes to USB business.

I have to say I am really impressed with he detail, time and thought you both are putting into this story. The character development is amazing. And I definitely am impressed or how you are crafting Sylvié's character. You have taken her from a small part character and made her into a deep, rich main character. Looking forward to seeing the continued development.

What I appreciate the most about Sylvié is that she's not just here for the gag or the reference. Sure, she will bring humour to the table, but she's a full-fledge character with her own arc revolving around her asserting herself, and building a relationship with Sand. As shown with Chapter 3, this needs some adjustment from both parts, their personalities are very different so realistically there's bound to be some hiccups and misunderstandings, but it makes the pay-off more satisfying.

I completely agree with Rufus. That while most stories do need that humour or the one character that serves as the comic relief, Sylvié represents so much more. She's the stranger in a strange land, looking to assert herself and break free of the chains of her former life, seeking that fresh start which epitomised the USA back in the 19th century as the land of opportunity and reinvention. While finding her feet and falling in love with Sand, who represents both the harshness of the Old West and also the beauty and freedom that was below it's surface.


Like Rufus said, Chapter 3 highlighted just how different Sand and Sylvié are in terms of personalities, so like any loving relationships there's bound to be bumps in the road. But Chapter 4 onwards will prove that opposites do indeed attract.